Posted by Jane on Facebook July 5, 2020
On this eve of Grandpa’s birthday, Grandma and I thought it would be fun to share some of Grandpa’s wisdom. Many many years ago, but she still hears from people who have put these up somewhere as reminders, he wrote a list of ways to adapt in a new culture. Grandma was thinking this time of pandemic is like a new place we are living in and it might be good to review Grandpa’s words.

PROVERBS FOR GUESTS
I have tried to discover how to live happily and positively in East Africa, and a few things, upon reflection, seem evident.
I. The psychological space which one is given to occupy in a host culture is usually limited. Discovering what that space is in which you can be free is essential for happy living. Said in another way, there are some things you can change and some things you cannot change. One thing can always be changed, though, your attitude toward that which you cannot change. Therefore, ponder the dynamics of your situation. Choose very carefully the battles you wish to spend your strength on, because many tempting battles are not worth the time it takes to gird your loins. Occupy the space given you. It is big enough.
II. Enjoy and affirm people. Let everyone share his/her life with you. People were meant to enrich your life. Do not hinder their entree. Every person is God’s gift to you.
III. Refuse to be a carrier of negative feelings. Accept a problem, try to understand it in its context, make a decision about it, and then wash out the feelings which that problem generated in you. Do no let the dye of one problem rub off on the next. Pray deliberately for this kind of liberation.
IV. Invest your energies in people. Don’t try to perfect the “machine”. It probably won’t run the same after you are gone anyway because you make off with the oil can and instructions. And expect perfection in no-one but yourself.
V. Don’t brood, ponder.
VI. Anxiety is like an internal hemorrhage, it saps your strength before you know what’s happening. Concentrate on the “now” and enjoy it fully. Anxiety’s child is discouragement which in turn produces bitterness. And when you examine your anxieties, you find yourself at the center rather than Jesus and others. Anxiety is simply pride worrying!
VII. Don’t let your joy have any connection with how your enterprise is going, whether it is how your cabbages are growing or how your staff is shaping up. Your joy is a state of your spirit.
VIII. Forgive yourself so you can forgive others. Never reverse the order. Blessed are the forgiven one.
IX. Keep your idealism but let it be your servant, not your master. Temper your expectations with reality.
X. If you can smile inwardly when things are “dumb”, you are near to the kingdom.
XI. Affirm not only the Jesus of History but Jesus who lives with you by faith. Refuse to think a thought or do a deed which would hurt or embarrass Him. Enlarge His presence in your soul. Live so that you hardly know where Jesus stops and you begin.
XII. Flaunt your great knowledge discreetly. Remember, the people do not care how much you know, they want to know how much you care.
-Don Jacobs, Nairobi (14th July, 1973)


